


Breaking

by DarkSecrets666



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 20:04:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13958979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkSecrets666/pseuds/DarkSecrets666
Summary: Sebastian's been, well, a complete asshole since Ciel became a Demon and it's Breaking Ciel's heart.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another old fanfic. Please comment x

Sebastian Michaelis had been different ever since his master, Ciel Phantomhive, had been unwillingly turned into a demon three years ago. Sebastian had lost his playful all-knowing smirk and had been replaced with a blank, impassive expression that left the young Master feeling hollow.

As always, the demon butler followed the young Lord's every order perfectly but he lacked his usual annoying enthusiasm. His eyes lost that amused twinkle, his voice lost that irritating teasing tone, a tone the young demon would give anything to hear again, and when the butler prepared the master for bed, he was careful to touch the young one as little as possible.

As soon as the master was ready for bed, Sebastian would leave without saying a word; not even his usual 'Goodnight, my Lord' that he had bade the young master every night when the young on had been mortal. Ciel refused to shed so much as a tear but, as stubborn as he was, he couldn't help the constant ache in his chest that throbbed with every move he made, with every breath he took and with every beat of his breaking heart. . .

"Master, are you listening?" Sebastian snapped and the young master unconsciously flinched, an act the butler paid no mind to.

Ah, anger. The only emotion that Ciel ever heard from his butler anymore.

"Sorry." Ciel said quietly looking at his hands. "You were saying, Sebastian?"

Sebastian let out an impatient sigh. They were in the master's study where the boy spent most of his time trying with all his might to stay out of the elder demon's way when he wasn't being forced to attend numerous balls and parties. "We must move on from this town, my Lord, before they notice you haven't aged." the butler said with his teeth slightly clenched, truing to contain his hatred and anger. "I will pack your things. . ."

"No." the young demon interrupted.

"No?" surprise. There was an emotion that hadn't been heard for a long while.

"I will pack my own things." The boy said firmly as he stood.

The elder demon watched the younger with hard, chilling eyes as he walked to the door. "My Lord, I am perfectly capable. . ."

"I don't doubt your capability, Sebastian." Ciel interrupted coolly and then he left the room, leaving behind a very confused demon.

The boy made his way to his room where he did indeed pack away his own things.

It wasn't hard, really. He just had to fold his clothes and lay them down flat in his suitcase before adding his few pairs of footwear and one or two books. He didn't have many belongings since he had been turned into a demon and had left the comforts of his own mansion.

At the time, he hadn't minded leaving behind all that he knew for a life he had been brutally forced into. He still had his dignity, he still had his pride and he still had Sebastian.

Or so he had thought.

Ciel's hands balled into fists as his eyes blurred with the ears he refused to shed. He ripped off his eye patch and moved to the window where he could see the bare trees that stood outside.

Winter was closing in and it was getting darker quicker. In only a few weeks, it would be the young one's birthday and what a miserable, sour sixteen it would be.

Ciel was exhausted; tired from harbouring his emotional pain, tired of hiding how he felt from the one who he knew hated him most. So he got himself ready for bed, wishing only for oblivion. He crawled under the duvet and the sheets before allowing sleep to take him.

Sebastian, remembering it was far passed the young master's bedtime, quickly made his way to the young demon's bedroom. He knocked softly and entered only to find the young one curled up in bed, like a child, with his back to the door, shaking. At first, Sebastian thought the young one was just cold but, when he got to the other side of the bed, he soon found silent tears streaking the boy's face.

"Bocchan?" Sebastian breathed his eyes wide with shock at seeing the child's tears. The young one gasped softly in his sleep as if the sound of Sebastian's voice caused him sudden physical pain. Unable to stomach the young demon's tears, Sebastian gently shook the young master awake.

The young demon jerked awake and sat up quickly. "W-what is it? What happened?" the smaller male demanded, understandably expecting the worse.

"You were having a nightmare, my Lord." Sebastian said coldly.

Hesitantly, Ciel touched just his eyes and found the tears he had been shedding whiles asleep. "You can go, Sebastian. I'm fine." he said but his voice shook and broke on the last word. Sebastian didn't move, couldn't move. "I told you to leave." Ciel whispered but was somehow able to make it sound harsh and demanding. "Now go and go quickly. You don't need to see this." Confused, Sebastian hastily left but as soon as he closed the plain wooden door, the soft, muffled sobs of a crying child could be heard from the other side.

For a moment, just a moment, Sebastian considered going back in to comfort the boy, to hold him until the tears subsided but then he remembered that he hated the child he had been bound to forever. The child should be suffering as he was.

But, then . . . why did the thought of the young master's suffering disgust him so?


	2. Chapter 2

Ciel awoke a little earlier than usual.

He sat up and looked at his clock. It was only an hour until Sebastian would come and wake him in the most unfeeling manner the demon butler could possibly muster. Ciel let out a sigh. He couldn't lie in bed for a whole hour. He hadn't the patience and wasn't in the mood to be reawakened by the cold-hearted bastard Sebastian was posing as.

Instead, the young one quietly scrambled out of bed and went to the bathroom to run himself a hot bath. He let his nightshirt puddle at his feet before climbing into the hot water. After getting used to the pain, Ciel relaxed into the heat and allowed the steam to fog his already hazy mind.

He gave himself five minutes to relax before sitting up and scrubbing himself clean.

At seven o'clock exactly, Sebastian let himself into the little lord's room only to find the room absent of the master, his bed neatly made. On the end of his bed, the young master had laid his clothes out ready to be worn for the day.

Sebastian frowned.

When had the young master learnt to get himself ready?

Speaking of, where was the once-earl?

As if to answer his question, a small splash came from the bathroom and was soon followed by the small pit-pat of small of wet feet. Just a moment later, Ciel emerged from the bathroom, roughly drying his hair with a towel.

He paused when he saw Sebastian.

"I took longer than I thought." was the only comment the young one gave before dumping the towel he was using for his hair on to a nearby chair. He then let drop the towel covering his body and Sebastian saw his master, as he had numerous times before, completely naked.

This time was different, though.

Sebastian studied the young master's body as the demonling dressed, determined to find a flaw but, annoyingly, he found none. Not so much as an inch of the young one's soft creamy, pale skin was blemished in any way apart from an ugly brand that was there through no fault of the young master's. The boy was small and slender with a strangely feminine figure, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing, and had the most striking set of mismatched eyes. If Sebastian's feelings towards the child were anything less than cold and indifferent, Ciel's body would be nothing short of perfection.

But he did feel coldly and indifferently towards the young lord, he had done since the young one had become his eternal curse, since the child had been transformed into a demon. They were now stuck with each other forever and, if it wasn't going to be pleasant for Sebastian, by God, Sebastian would make sure it wasn't pleasant for the young master.

At least, that's what Sebastian liked to think. He knew, in his heart of hearts, that he would never be able to hurt the young master and not just because of the stupid contract either.

Picking up his eye patch, Ciel looked up at Sebastian once he had dressed. "Could you help me with this?" he asked then lowered his gaze from Sebastian's frosty ruby red eyes. "Please." the young one added.

Sebastian took the eye patch and Ciel cautiously turned around so that the elder demon could tie the patch. He didn't say a word when he was done; he just stepped back and waited for the master to realize he was done. Seconds later the young one turned around. "Thank you." he said softly and Sebastian momentarily wondered if his kind really could become ill; Ciel wasn't acting like his usual self.

The young one never said 'please'.

The young one never said 'thank you'.

And the young one was most certainly not usually so cautious.

Then Sebastian's eyes met Ciel's uncovered one and the brief glint of desperation, pain and sorrow he saw in his master's eye was enough to make Sebastian feel like some one had just thrown a bucket of ice water in his face. It was enough to strike a place deep in the elder demon's heart.

"We should leave as soon as possible, my Lord." Sebastian said keeping his voice even.

The young one let out a sigh. "I suppose you're right, Sebastian." he said picking up the full suitcase he had left at the bottom of his bed. When he was human, he wouldn't have been able to lift the damn thing. There was one upside to being a demon, at least but that one was not enough to make either one of the males happy about the current situation.

Half an hour later found the two climbing into the waiting carriage.

"Where to this time, my Lord?" Sebastian asked.

"I don't care." the boy said coolly. "Wherever you want."

Sebastian frowned. "Wherever?"

"Yes." there was silence. "Do you want me to make that an order?"

"No, there's no need," Sebastian replied dispassionately before looking up at the driver. "Take us to the outskirts of town."

The driver nodded and closed the carriage door.

"Where are we going?" the younger of the two asked the elder.

"Home."

Sebastian's home, Ciel found out many hours later, wasn't exactly a mansion but it was still pretty big. It was predictably gothic and daunting which made it feel bigger than it actually was. There were no cobwebs on the ceiling or hiding in corners like the young lord thought there would be but pretty much everything else met Ciel's expectation. There were a lot of reds and blacks scattered around the place, mainly black. If inspected closely enough, however, some silver could be spotted.

Ciel found himself smiling ever so slightly in amusement. "Of course." he muttered to himself. "What other decoration would a demon have?"

Sebastian narrowed his eyes slightly. "Shall I show you to a room, Master?"

Ciel swallowed. "Could I . . . I. . ." he stopped and looked down at his feet.

"Could you what?"

"I . . . it's nothing." the young one said.

Sebastian folded his arms and glared. "What do you want?"

Ciel winced at Sebastian's tone. "I was wondering if I could, maybe, have a room close to yours." he muttered, his cheeks flushing red.

"Why?" Sebastian enquired, raising an eyebrow. Ciel started twiddling his thumbs. "You're . . . scared?"

The demonling opened his mouth before closing it again and just nodded. "Funny, really." he said softly.

This just baffled the elder demon further. "What is, my Lord?"

A pained smile tugged at the corner of the young one's small mouth, a smile that didn't reach the boy's eyes. "I feel safest with the one that hates me most." he mused.

There was a long frosty silence between the two in which they both stood quietly, waiting for the other to speak. Neither one did so the silence continued until, finally, Sebastian let out a sigh and took Ciel's suitcase. "Come on." he said to the little Lord.

Ciel followed. "Who lives with you?" he asked the elder demon curiously.

"No one." Sebastian answered curtly.

"But you must have family?"

The elder looked at the younger. "Why the sudden curiosity, my Lord?"

The young one looked away. "No reason." he mumbled.

Sebastian halted and opened a bedroom door. "The one next to this is mine." he said, his eyes narrowing at his master who wasn't looking at him. "It's not the grandest, however. If you would prefer. . ."

"No." Ciel interrupted. "It will do just fine." he glanced up at the elder and instantly wished he hadn't. His butler didn't look angry but he didn't look . . . Anything. His face was completely emotionless, his eyes, those raging ruby red eyes were empty and cold.

"Is there anything else, my lord?" Sebastian asked impersonally.

"No," Ciel answered. "There's nothing."

"Then I'll retire, if you don't mind."

The young one peered up at the elder, frowning. "Why on earth would I mind?"

Sebastian chose to ignore that and just left the young lord to get himself settled and ready for bed.


	3. Chapter 3

Ciel let out a frustrated sigh.

He would not cry.

He would not cry.

Not, not, not cry.

The young one breathed in deeply, trying to calm the rush of emotions threatening to overwhelm him before inspecting the room.

The room was plainer than what Ciel had seen of the rest of the house; it lacked the soul-sucking black that decorated most of the house. Instead, it was draped in dark blues and silver as if it had been decorated with the young Lord in mind. It was such a stark contrast to the dark gloomy hallway Ciel had seen when he had entered and it made the young demon curious as to what the elder demon's room looked like.

Fear kept him from finding out. He couldn't explain why he was scared; he knew Sebastian could never hurt the demonling, whether he wanted to or not. The contract wouldn't allow it.

"Stupid contract." Ciel whispered sitting on the king-sized bed that was dressed in midnight-blue. "We wouldn't be stuck like this if it wasn't for that stupid contract. Damn you, Alois. Damn you." He dressed in a nightshirt from his suitcase and blew out the candle light before climbing into bed.

He lay there for a while, trying to sleep but sleep did not come. So he just lay there, trying to be as silent as possible. Eventually sleep finally took pity and Ciel drifted off into the realm of nightmares.

Sebastian lay on his bed, fully dressed, staring at the ceiling.

Sleep was being a nuisance tonight and was refusing to surrender to him.

His stupid, idiotic mind kept wandering to the demonling that slept in the room next door.

The elder demon tried to think of other things, other people, other beings but, hell, even cats reminded him of the young master; the lazy way the young one would stretch out on his front on his bed when he had just awoken and the way his tongue would scrape across the side of his index finger when he had made a slight mess with his food.

Sebastian hit his forehead with the palm of his hand, trying to knock these thoughts out of his head.

It was times like this when Sebastian hated his master, and his heart, the most. Logic said that Sebastian shouldn't care about his master. The young Phantomhive had cheated him out of the soul he desired most and still had Sebastian waiting on him hand and foot. And Sebastian did hate the young master to some extent, he did feel coolly and indifferently. Yet it was not because he was cursed to be by the young demonling's side forever but because he hated that he loved . . . no.

Sebastian stopped his thoughts in their tracks. He couldn't be in love with the young master. He couldn't. There was several reasons why and all of them perfectly plausible.

But then. . .if that were so, why did his heart skip a beat when they touched? Why did his heart break when he saw tears running down the young one's face? Why did he hate the fact that the young one was hurting?

All part of the contract, that's what Sebastian told himself but he knew what the contract consisted of and he knew that was just a lie that he told himself. . .

"NO!" the cry was sudden, fearful and came from the room next door.

Sebastian shot off the bed and hurried to see what the fuss was about.

When he entered the young master's room, he couldn't see the young one anywhere. After a moment or two, he realized the demonling was huddled into a corner, shaking like a scared kitten.

"Master?" Sebastian said as he charily approached. The young one flinched away and accidentally hit his head on the wall. A low groan of pain escaped the little one's throat. "Master?"

"It. . .it was just a dream." the young one whispered. "I-I'm sorry I woke you. I didn't mean to. I-I'm so sorry. I didn't choose this. I didn't know. But you can blame me if it makes you feel better. Just please, show it. Show me your anger. Show me whatever emotion you want. Say something, anything. Scream at me, shout at me. I don't care. I just can't stand your silence anymore, Sebastian. I'm sorry."

Sebastian knelt down beside his master, realizing the boy was no longer apologising for disturbing him; Ciel was apologizing for becoming a demon in the first place. Apologizing for being his eternal curse. The young one wasn't to blame but, still, he apologized and that's what melted the elder. That was what had the elder finally accepting the young one into his heart.

And Sebastian leaned in and pressed his lips to Ciel's.

Stunned, the young one didn't move, he didn't even breathe until the elder pulled away.

The child broke down in noiseless tears. "Sebastian, what-whatever game you're playing . . . I . . ." Ciel whispered. "I don't want to play anymore. I don't want to be the master. I don't want to anymore. I surrender, Sebastian, I surrender."

Sebastian stared at the young one. "You surrender?"

Ciel just nodded pathetically.

"Well, we can't have that." the butler said pulling the younger to his feet as the elder stood.

The younger opened his mouth to say something but found himself interrupted by Sebastian's mouth on his as the elder pressed the younger against the wall. Ciel gasped and the demon used that to his advantage and slid his tongue into the demonling's mouth. The young one made a noise but didn't push the elder away; he kissed the elder back, letting his own tongue battle the other for dominance. A battle the younger lost.

The elder lost no time in diving his tongue deeper into the younger's mouth, exploring it, tasting it before coaxing the younger's tongue to battle again. The young one broke the kiss, his lungs desperately begging for oxygen. "Sebastian. . ." he panted as the elder leaned in for another kiss. ". . .don't. Don't unless . . . unless you really want to. I don't think my heart could take it if this is just some way of giving me happiness only to rip it away from me and break my heart completely."

Sebastian felt his heart flutter.

So Ciel did feel the same way.

The elder slowly reached across the small gap between them and cupped the younger's cheek with an ungloved hand. With his thumb, he wiped away a drying tear and he rested his forehead against the young one's. "I would never do that to you, Ciel, I would never break you." Sebastian whispered and the young one gasped at the sound of his own name, startled that the elder had uttered it and shocked at the tender way the elder's tongue seemed to caress the name.

"Why?" Ciel asked moving his head away. "That's what you've been doing these past few years, isn't it? You've been so cold, Sebastian, and it's breaking me. I understand that you never wanted to be bound to me forever but it. . .it wasn't my. . ."

"Bocchan." Sebastian interrupted. "I admit I was angry at being cheated out of your soul. I was bitter and angry and resentful but that doesn't mean that I don't want to be bound to you forever. I confess I didn't really like the idea at first but now I . . . being close to you like this . . . I . . . I wouldn't have it any other way."

The elder watched the faint gleam of hope spark and flare to life in the young one's mismatched eyes. "You wouldn't?" he whispered hardly daring to believe it.

"Have I ever lied to you, my love?" Sebastian chuckled.

"My. . . Love?" Ciel repeated. "Why. . . ?"

Sebastian stroked the hair out of the young one's violet eye that held the mark of their bond. "Because I love you." the words fell from Sebastian's lips with ease and the elder realized he'd been idiotic to have denied it in the first place.

As soon as the words registered in Ciel's foggy brain, he flung his arms around his demon and kissed the elder with an ardent passion. He was crying again but these tears were not of fear and sorrow as they had been before. These were the tears of the purest joy that had ever been experience in all three realms. "I love you too." he confessed when their mouths weren't locked together. "I love you, I love you, I love you." he chanted until Sebastian shut him up with another breathtaking, heart hindering kiss.

Sebastian picked the demonling up and Ciel wrapped his legs around the demon's waist, still kissing fervently, as Sebastian carried his master to the bed where they collapsed onto the mattress. After a while, their kisses slowed as each became aware of the sexual position they were in; Ciel lying on top of the sheets with Sebastian in between his legs, hovering slightly above him.

"Ciel, do you want me tonight?" Sebastian asked. "tell me now because, if I kiss you again now, I don't think I'll be able to control myself."

The younger reached up and stroked the elder's cheek. "kiss me, then."

"But I won't be able to control my. . ."

"And I don't want you to." Ciel interrupted. "I want you, Sebastian. All of you. I've wanted you for so long and, if I don't have you now. . .now that I know you love me too, I fear I may go insane."

"As if you weren't already crazy." Sebastian chuckled closing the gap between them.

"Only for you." Ciel retorted before their mouths met and they were lost in each other.


End file.
